Ive made my decisions. I know why I’m unhappy and now I’m fixing it. I’m really going to fix it. I’m sick of myself bitching and not doing anything about it so if it turns out you realize I’m no longer a part of your life you can assume I’ve decided that I see no effort in our relationship it won’t be subtle, none of my actions from now on will be subtle. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not happy with the person I’ve become or turning into. my priorities, goals and ambition is finally setting place and hopefully my mind will finally get to rest. im not trying to be dramatic either ahhahaah I’m using my tumblr to channel my determination.

- I’ve been so unhappy with the future I’ve been seeing but what did I expect to see haha I’ve never taken school seriously but now I’ll be more level headed. not because I suddenly take school seriously ahha nothing will motivate me to take school seriously but this time my only reason will be to graduate on time and network through school for a future job and internship. i know I’m capable so now I’ll do so. I lower my intelligence because I’m lazy so you fuckers that’s been calling me stupid and thought you were better you guys can go fuck yourself.

-I’m staying with my shitty job for the holidays the end of January and I’m going to call quits. I’ve been PREACHING this since last year but this year im leaving to a working environment where I’m paid for my efforts.

lastly my relationship with people acquaintances my so called friends and my family. I’ve been so off and I’ll admit with the constant reminder from my friend that I’ve been so insecure for the last half of this year but now I really ask myself for what? I no longer need people in my life who try to make me inferior, who don’t appreciate my friendship, if you feel that others are more important to keep in touch with then so will I, If I’m your last option you can kiss my ass. I’ll make amends with the ones I feel are necessary and the rest you can leave now it’s fine. yeah the number of people I know will shorten tremendously but it bothers me to ask myself when did I start thinking that it was so important to know a million people when did I become so vain and superficial. to all those that I’ve done wrong to, spoken bad about I truly apologize I guess I haven’t been myself for so long I lost track of what’s right and important instead of what’s socially right. no bitches I wasn’t craving attentions just higher expectations of others that aren’t clearly going to be met. but that’s totally fine now, learned life has its twisted ways of teaching me how to live it. I’m done with my identity crisis. I know exactly who I am what I want to do and who I want to be. problem finally fuckin solved.

so in the end this too passed.

p.s thanks to those who constantly listened to me while I was down in the dumps. and who believed me when I said I was. too bad those two people don’t have tumblrs… jane and phill I wouldn’t know what to do without you guys. really. and nisha! how can I forget you! hahah

end of rant. bye tumblr. fohhhhhhhh gooooooood.